FRUSTRATION.

I want to scream.  Yell at the top of my lungs.  Tear at my clothes and my hair.  I want to let out every pent up negative thought and the weight of everything and just release it into the cosmos.  I am sick of being told I can do nothing right.  I am sick of being treated like I am not important.  And I sure as fuck cannot handle the vast wealth of hurt that has been thrown at me.  Maybe when things seem close to being too good to be true (not they are, but they are near that idea), we should just realize that it is too good to be true.  The reality of situations is mind-boggling.  I do not like these days.  I do not like waking up to bad news, and then having the shit just piled on moment after moment after moment.  It is absolutely devastating to my psyche.  I …don’t even know what to fucking write anymore.  I am sitting in a fucking coffee shop almost in tears as I try and express myself and realizing that there are so many things that there is not enough space and not as potent as words as I could wish for.  Every angle, every facet has something that someone finds unacceptable or bad or they have acted in ways that are beyond reprehensible.  I cannot be perfect for everyone and why should I be?  They are not perfect for me.  I would not want someone to be perfect for me.  I understand faults and I understand the intense pressure, how come you are putting me under that same fucking pressure?  I want to fucking shut down, turn off, not think.  One.  Thing.  After.  Another.  All angles.  Family, friends, relationship, EVERYTHING.  And then to top it all off I am stuck with the elements unprepared.  When it rains, it pours.  Literally.  The world has decided today that I am just going to be SHIT ON.

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