Shhhheeeeessssssh. Read between the lines bozoooos.

I am listening to “The Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth” and I remember being in the car listening to this in Iowa.  His warbling voice, straining to hit a note, barely audible lyrics, until it gets to the chorus where he goes, “…my yellow country teeeeeeeeeth…” and I am thinking about how I tried to sing like him and failing miserably, and hurting my own ears, let alone anyone who might have heard me.  I am thinking about getting burritos.  And sunglasses.  And polarizing.  Barnes and Noble and getting myself coffee before going in to work.  How D would always make fun of me for drinking so much coffee and then she would come back from her lunch break with a massive McDonalds Caramel Frappe.  How Shel got me that disgusting and oh so delicious Frosty-cino thing, and how Cybin got one and we all perked up and ask what it was.  Sitting outside at lunch when it was only March and I was freezing but at the same time did not want to sit inside anymore.  How when everyone else went for a smoke break, I would sit on the bench outside the north side doors with my book and Orange Crush would come back and make fun of me.  How my Quasian and I had secret code for every conceivable joke, like a different language.  Apparently I am good at solidifying inside jokes.  And it’s always nice to know you have them with someone, don’t you think? There is a sense of respect and vulnerability in having an inside joke with someone.  You are close enough to that person that they know exactly what you mean when the rest of the world is scratching their heads wondering what they hell is being said.  Certain looks and winks and laughs and dance moves.  How my twin and I will always know what the hairy things are.  How my swassy girl will always respond with easy snakes biting hot.  How ta-tas are forever the best term used for knockers.  How power punches are a way of respecting the shit that we have to go through (well, now you have to go through) every day.  How Snickers are by far the superior chocolate treat, and the message inside is always special.  Something to get you through the day.  How no matter what happens, I will always say that I have not fallen into the ocean yet, and how certain songs will always evoke a memory or a feeling that stirs deep in their chest.  And can also bring tears.  How “That’s Not My Name” will always cause a myriad of reactions, from laughs to curses.  How Jean Claude will always make people whistle and hoot and holler.  That TACO freaking PIE and SPAGHETTI freaking PIE will always make people roll their eyes and laugh.  UH-OH has forever been ruined for me, because automatically afterwards I think about double negatives and curse!  Fairway is no longer just a supermarket, but a repetitive noun that needs to be SHOT.  SHEBONS and DIRTY MARTINIS are at the top of my best memories and by far the best drinks ever.  Wednesday night sushi dinners and half price bottles of wine.  “Girls night” was just code for let’s get loaded.  Caramel cremes, five dollar bottles of wine, and Brett giving us multiple free martinis.  My pink heels.  Dressing up and being Carrie Bradshaw for an evening, and, DUDE, I AM SOOOOO DRUNK, I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND…. and yes, I BLAME THE SHOTS!  No one ever looking at mail the same again.  And the QUESTIONS!?!?!  Grrr.  Damn Worldsleaze.  And did you know, my quasian, WHEN I SEE YOUR FACE, THERE IS NOT A THING I WOULD CHANGE, CUZ YOU’RE AMAZING JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.  I hope that you have similar memories.  I hope whenever you hear Whitney, you smile slyly because you have that video, flashlight in hand, dancing, dancing, dancing.  Or that Tik Tok always makes you think about P.Diddy, because you know he’s not your friend.  And that hopefully you did NOT throw up glitter.  And I hope you can still smile whenever you think about the good old 1-2.  It makes me smile.  And then laugh hysterically for about an hour and a half.  Or that picture on Shel’s phone of me impersonating a specific sitting position.  Margaritas!  Chimichangas!  EXTRA SOUR CREAM!  RED FACED AND GIGGLING!  NOW THE PARTY DON’T START UNTIL I WALK IN.  Oh, and swassy, you have to remember this: GREETINGS LOVED ONES, let’s take a journey……………………………………………  Because you know, deep inside you know, you can travel the world but nothing comes close to the golden coast, CALIFORNIA GIRLS, WE ARE UNFORGETTABLE. I hope this walk down memory lane finds you all smiling, because it has made me smile.  I needed it.  I have been listening to songs, remembering good times, looking forward to the future, and the ability to share more moments with you.  Read between the lines and you know exactly what I am talking about.  I bet you ten bucks you are smiling right now, just like I am.  AND THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PIRATE BOOTS.

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