Have you ever missed someone so much? Have you ever just felt like your whole carefully constructed world is in complete chaos? I want the sea. I want the calm lapping of water. I want to be soothed. I want my Jonathan to hold me and let me know that everything is going to be okay. And I want to hold him and let him know that everything is going to be okay. I just wish I knew everything would turn out okay. That California will be okay. That his thesis will be okay. That everything in his life and mine that is spinning out of control and scaring us will be okay.