“Could you love someone completely, and yes, by someone I mean me…”

I keep wondering if I am going to miss Iowa City when it’s time to move to California.  I fell in love with this place when I came to visit during my senior year of high school.  My mom and I came out here in the winter, right around Valentine’s day, of 2004.  I saw Iowa City at her worst.  Snow on the ground.  Cold, blistery winds.  Freezing temperatures.  And I knew this was the place for me.  This would be the perfect place to make my transition into adulthood.  I would be far enough away from home that I didn’t have to deal with all the pressures put on me there, but still close enough that if the pressures of my new life became too much, I would be able to travel home.  To visit.  To feel the warm embrace of my mother and witness the quirky way my father interacted with his own daughters.  With California, I will be even further from my comfort zone.  I am excited and perpetually afraid of this move.  But it’s the good kind of fear.  The this-is-something-new; the potential for greatness.  But Iowa City has become mundane for me.  Don’t get me wrong, the thing I will miss most of this city is her people.  And not the whatever thousand that move to Iowa City from the Chicago suburbs (“little Chicago”), but those that are from Iowa City (yes, I know that statement is hypocritical, because I am in fact from a suburb of Chicago).  The homeless man who wanders the pedestrian mall, the people who go in search of music nightly, and good beer, the friends I have made here outside of schooling.  That is what will make me miss Iowa.  The places are all familiar, almost too familiar.  I need a change of venue, but I wish I could keep the whole cast.  There are few lead actors in my life, but I have met most of them here.  

It’s time to follow my feet, though.  It’s time to take the next step.  I just hope that in the next few months of being here, I can soak up as many good memories as I can so that when I am afraid of what comes next, I know I have the strength to keep going.  I have made transitions before, and look how wonderful they turned out.  Always looking ahead, always viewing the positives.  I can do this.


  1. Owen – Holy crap!  This band is just fucking magical.  Lyrically stunning.  I heard the song “The Sad Waltzes of Pietro Crespi” and was floored.  It spoke to me so clearly.  Been on repeat for the last two days.  Just fabulous.  Another great song that hits a chord in me by this same band is “Bags of Bones”.
  2. The Firebird Band – I know I already mentioned them.  I know I mentioned the song “Gift” (which you should download right now!) but there is another song by these guys that I recommend called “Beautiful”.  Now this song has some particular meaning to me, which is why it has been on repeat, but even if it didn’t, it’s worth a listen or five.  It is one of those pieces that have all the perfect trappings.  The lyrics express a sweet sentiment without being sappy.  They are what every girl desires to hear from a guy.  Musically it is upbeat without losing its rock and roll atmosphere.  It’s the butterflies in your stomach when someone tells you they like you and you feel the same way.  It’s the elation you feel after spending an amazing evening talking and laughing.
  3. William Fitzsimmons – I know I mentioned him before.  Quite awhile back.  I love his song “Passion Play”.  Which I think is the track I plugged last time.  Give him a listen.  It is more folksie.  But his lyrics are poetry.  Pure and emotional and leaves me quivering.

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