I took Jonathan to the airport today. On my lunch break. I teared up a little on the way back. I am such a girl.
Work was… (so you get an idea of what is going on right now, I am shaking my head and rolling my eyes simultaneously, all while trying to think of something not passive aggressive and something not blatantly, down-right mean to write) not good. Lately I have been more stressed at work because D has been leaning on me to be a “voice” amongst the noon to niners. She wants me to train, to answer questions, to lead. Essentially, she wants me to begin doing the job Frankie had while she worked our shift. Take responsibility for problems, make sure everything gets out, make sure everything is well stocked, MAKE SURE THERE IS NOTHING FOR HORNS OR J TO COMPLAIN ABOUT! And John just shat all over that responsibility tonight. All because he didn’t get the green light to be in a position with more power (he requested title and monetary compensation, something we ALL KNEW was not going to happen). So now it’s been passed to me, because he is leaving Shipping. It shocked him that D has talked to me about things that need to go on at night. IT SHOCKED HIM that I am now the one who has to do round-ups and make sure that our butts are covered when the day closes. He thought that the responsibility would fall to no one. Naivety. FUCKING NAIVETY! And even though D knows I am leaving in 4.5 months, I have the most knowledge (behind Doug, who wants nothing to do with anything) in the room. I don’t mind the extra work without the extra pay. I do mind when a person who has been there, and who knows how the room works and how the people work, shits on me. Even D is mad with him. He acts like he is big boss man. He shouldn’t be treating the new people that way. If there is an issue I should talk to them, it’s my responsibility. They probably already don’t like me, so why not talk to them. Because D, this is John we’re talking about. JOHN. The man who wants EVERYTHING.
I cried on the way home from work tonight. That’s how unbelievably mad I was. And what’s even more sad is that I am at home, in my PJs, totally awake because of the need for speed at work (not the drug, the actual need to go fast) eating a fucking frozen dinner. Jonathan is on a plane bound for California. He is on his school visit. Hopefully he has a lot of good things to report. I, on the other hand, will be eating frozen dinner black bean and corn enchiladas while watching some shitty television. Isn’t my life envious? Ha. Ha. Ha.
At least tomorrow is Burrito Day. To replacing the normal Burrito Thursday, which had to be forfeited to take Jonathan to the airport. See, thinking of the positives. That and it’s Friday, which means no work for two whole days. So sad that that is exciting me. Growing up sucks. I still feel like I should be experiencing those “once in a lifetime” moments. Like backpacking across Europe and going to New York for a week and just jetting out of town a drive nowhere and road-tripping for no reason but to be alive. To live. I am 23 and it already feels like I am sinking into a rut. Hence the excitement about the move. And the nerves. Will I be able to enjoying living like that? My meaning: uprooting. Starting fresh in a fresh town with not that much money.
The enchiladas are calling.